ILP 0023: Two Ways to Fart in Public and Get Away with It!
My name is Dapo Bankole and I am your regular host on the Immigrant Life Podcast, the Canadian Narrative. It’s another wonderful day here in the city of Calgary and a lot has been happening, one of which is what I want to talk about today! This week, we are talking about farting in public. Smh. Yes. I mean it.
Missing commitments (especially public ones) make you look bad like when you fart in public *closes eyes* even though you did not plan to. Now what? Learn from such embarrassments and move forward fighting for your Canadian dreams.
Why do I want to share farting tips? The other day, I was in a boardroom with the CEO of an organization where he shared a funny yet instructive story about his early career life.
He used to work in a restaurant as a service guy. He recounted how one day he had just served some customers at a table and returned there to check on them as any customer-centric person would do. Out of nowhere, his manager appeared on the scene, introduced himself and joined the conversation asking the customers if they were being taken care of very well and if there was anything more that he could do to make them even happier. That was the good part. The bad part was that while he spoke, he tactically and silently released some inglorious farts. And as quickly as he joined the conversation, he left, and this CEO said he was left in the filth with the customers giving him some very bad look. Who would have expected a restaurant manager to fart in the restaurant with customers seated? Lol. Of course, even though this CEO was not the one who did it, he took the shame. The entire boardroom was filled with laughter. It’s one of those stories that make your day, but it reminded me of myself.
Last week, I missed my commitment to you. I did not release any podcast – it had the same feeling of remorse as someone who farted in public and got caught or like the CEO who got shamed for what he did not do. When you miss your commitment to your customers or in my own case, my listeners, you feel, embarrassed, you feel bad – and I felt both because I know people look out for these episodes. It’s not what I wanted to do and it’s the first time this has happened since July 1st when I started this podcast. I did have my podcast plans and in fact had three episodes already scripted but hey, like they say, everyone has a plan until they get hit in the face. Its life.
This is exactly what happens to the best of us. We have great hopes, dreams and ambitions about our new life in Canada. We do all we can to get here. On getting here, we work on our dreams daily. Attend all the workshops, rewrite our resumes, attend all sort of networking sessions, meet people, volunteer, take new courses in Colleges, Polytechnics and University. Sit for those rigorous certifications and professional exams. Sometimes, we pass, sometimes we fail some modules. We get frustrated. At times, we get angry. We even get angry at the Canadian Government for daring to attract highly skilled individuals to Canada. Then we pray and wonder if God truly answers prayers and even though we don’t always say it, sometimes we wonder if He truly exists. Then suddenly, when we are almost at our wits end, something gives and that business we’ve been struggling with suddenly blooms. The job we’ve been looking for shows up and this time, almost without sweat. Then we wonder why we had to go through all the struggles in the first place. Well, it’s life.
We continue to grow in leaps and bounds then one day, we give in to the dark side. The part of us that does not want to do anything. That part that tricks us into self-sabotaging. The part that waits until we give a big commitment to a worthy dream that has gone public. Like that book that we so earnestly want to write and publish. Or the business idea that we passionately speak about or the Immigrant Life Podcast that is helping thousands of listeners all over Canada, North America, Europe, the Middle East, Africa, New Zealand and far away Asia! A little challenge comes along, and we go quiet. Stand still and do nothing. Then we realize the world was waiting for us, but we did not show up. The fragrance smells. Badly. Especially in public. That’s why I said I farted in public the other week.
So now, what? What do you do when that happens? Dust it off, learn your lesson, get up and keep moving. I know it can be embarrassing but everyone farts, maybe not in public but we all do it. So, fight for your Canadian dream and don’t give up! You may need to cry or talk to someone to feel better. It doesn’t matter. Just do whatever it takes!
Okay, so in case you didn’t get the crux of what I was saying let me be clear – I fart in public . And I am not just being metaphorical such as doing something embarrassing in public, I mean real fart. Sometimes, it is silent and deadly, most other times, you would think it is the sound of multiple bomb explosions – and yeah, deadly too. Don’t you dare think evil thoughts of me or give me some weird look when next we meet in public because I am being real. And if you do, you are just on your own. Smh.
So how do I do it without putting other people’s lives at risk? There are two major strategies that I employ – I either do it in the bathroom when I go to pee or I just go for a walk in an area where no one is in sight and just do my thing. Lol. It always feels so good I suspect that my system releases some feel-good hormones after each episode. Anyway, that’s just my style. Okay, let me just warn those of you who have done bad things to me in the past. Don’t try it again. And you know yourselves. In case you are in doubt, let me tell you how you wronged me. You farted in a restaurant, on the very car where I sat on the train, in the elevator, in the server room, in a car, near the water dispenser at the end of the office corridor, in your office cubicle that was next to mine or worse still that righteous looking dude that did it elsewhere but brought it to my cubicle. This thing follows you for a while unless you’re skilled. You mean you don’t know? Don’t just do it again. That was annoying. The fact that it was silent didn’t mean my nostrils were not working and yet you acted like nothing happened. Who does that? My advice? Avoid those places that I mentioned, and you’ll remain the angel that you are .
One last thing before I leave for the week. A few people have been asking what my “real” interest is in starting Immigrant Life Podcast and the associated community. Am I trying to start an immigration consulting firm? Am I trying to position myself as a leader so that when I “finally” join Canadian politics, I would have made a name for myself as a leader? Well, my response remains the same – I am trying to make a difference in other people’s lives, just like my parents did for others. That’s the legacy they’ve left in me and when I arrived here a few years ago, I wish the platform I created existed. It’s not about any of these things, not even money. Those are spin offs and they would come if you maintain your focus on serving others. Let me leave you with a quote by Lisa Haisha. It says, “Great leaders don’t set out to be leaders…They set out to make a difference. It’s never about the role. It’s always about the goal”
What difference are you going to make in someone’s life today?
With that, I wish you the best version of yourself!
Join Us Because Together, the Future Is Bright!
PS: When you join this movement, together we’ll uncover the lessons learned, tips, strategies and actionable insights that will help us thrive in Canada and make a difference in our various spheres of influence.