Don’t let the headline catch you off-guard.
Life happens to even the best of us.
People die every day.
People lose their jobs every day.
Businesses collapse every day.
Opportunities are lost every day.
Good things happen too, every day.
Whichever way you turn, something remarkable is happening at all times. At the same time depressing things will be transpiring. That is life for you. A mix of the wonderful and woeful.
This three-part-series of The Immigrant Life Podcast is your guide for surviving job loss and coming out a better person. In it, Dapo Bankole talks about personal turmoil and lessons he learned when he went through job loss.
The best thing you can do to yourself is to accept that there are somethings in life you cannot control and even the most knowledgeable around cannot either. Breathe.
As first-generation Canadians, most of us come in prepared to take on our new world. We come with an understanding that things will be hard, and we prepare ourselves for some tough initial years. But no amount of mental preparation will make us ready for what is to come. Life is what occurs between expectations and realities. How can you interface between expectation and reality?
There are many things that are unpredictable in our lives and nothing can prepare us for everything. For instance, there will be situations where you can lose a job without any warning. When it happens like that, it will be unfortunate, but you need to be ready for it, despite being unforeseen.
How can you go through that phase of loss of employment without losing sight of who you are and without losing the most important thing – your life and your family?
Although this is a 3-in-1 series, in this introductory article, we’ve highlighted a few lessons that Dapo shared in the episodes based on his personal experience.
- The best thing you can do to yourself is to accept that there are somethings in life you cannot control and even the most knowledgeable around cannot either. Breathe.
- Make it a point to not live a life or a job based on someone else’s backing. People take action based on their level of knowledge. If you trust someone and think that this person will have your back, remember, that individual might not have the means to support you. If you depend on someone to save your job, also consider the fact that they might be stripped off of their position. There is a limit to what human beings know – make your decisions for yourself and roll with it. Do not depend on others for anything.
- In life you are on your own. Your decisions are for yourself and your every step will dictate what happens to you.
- At the end of the day, you have to prioritize what really matters in life. Put your energies where they really matter.
- You cannot predict life. Have a plan for life but be prepared to face anything that life throws at you. Expect that life could go in the other direction than you planned, and that preparation can make you better off.
Keep your chin up. Stay excited and motivated with taking up whatever it is that gets you going.
What if you lose your job?
From his personal experience, Dapo talks about how he went into a retrieval mode after that unexpected turn of events. “My brain went into hyperdrive with confusion. I was sending resume randomly in every direction. I hid away. I was ashamed,” he describes his phase of grief. “I was responding to the shock. I was sleeping like I was on vacation.” However, unlike a vacation where you have a date of return, here he had none.
To be left without a job, a place to go to work, or making an earning was taking a toll on his life. His life was accustomed to getting up and going to work. That routine was thrown off-guard. “That realization was confusing. The problem of my changing routine – not having things to do messed me up.”
What happened to him?
I started to have a look down on myself.
It was not fun.
I lost confidence.
I continued to live a fake life by not telling anyone.
Have you been through a similar situation? Share your experiences.
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This article was written by Meena Kaini.