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HomeFounder's DeskYou Are Hurting Yourself

You Are Hurting Yourself

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They were definitely not going to do this again. Never!

It had seemed like an excellent idea initially and, indeed, it was. They had fun, wild fun driving to Southern Ontario from Saskatchewan. They had several stops on the way to take pictures, enjoy parks and local restaurants. They had to make the most of the trip.

George did drive most of the journey, but Rosemary did too. The challenge was, with the kids, it was not that fun. Both driving and managing frustrated kids on the long drive were tough jobs. Steering the car or steering the kids on a 29h hour drive was no mean feat.

Tempers were more manageable heading out East, but returning to base in Moose Jaw was more than what they bargained for. If they could, they would have abandoned the car and all arrived home using any available out-of-body experience. But it didn’t happen.

Eventually, they got home. Rosemary was the first to dive into bed after a quick shower. No one even attempted to unload the car. George at least managed to lock the doors and activate the home security system. Even though they missed that sometimes, they always felt more comfortable having the house in lock – down mode.

Within 45 minutes of arriving home, they were all fast asleep.

Until Rosemary screamed from sleep. George! George!! George!!! It was 2.15am.

She was stabbed multiple times.

Then the hooded and masked assailant dropped the knife and fled the house.

She was bleeding profusely. She was in pain. Deep pain.

Eventually, she rolled out of bed and managed to pick up the knife even as she bled. In pain, she held it tightly at the blades. She was angry, in pain and yet wouldn’t let it go.

With multiple, deep stab wounds still bleeding, she was losing energy, yet she held tightly to the same knife that was used in stabbing her. She wouldn’t let go.

Even with the eventual arrival of Parademics, it was an intense struggle to let go of the knife. “I can’t!”, “I can’t!” were her words.

Eventually, she let go.

The Alexa alarm suddenly came to life. It was 5.45am.

She woke up.

It was a dream.

Author’s Note: The post is about forgiveness and unforgiveness. Rosemary is a real person (yes, that’s her real name) who had the narrated dream when she was struggling to let go of a hurt that she experienced from someone. She held on to the pain for so long and even though it was hurting her and making her miserable, she did not let go of it until she had the dream. True experience. The dream made her realize how she was damaging herself and not getting healed because she refused to let go. The assailant was the person who hurt her. The knife was the incident that created the pain in her heart. Her healing only started after she let go of the figurative knife!

Written by Dapo Bankole.
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