Some people have asked me privately why I seem to write and talk a lot more about the seeming intangibles of life than about actual careers and other money making skills which are very critical to the integration of every immigrant.
It’s similar to what some have said to me in form of comments. “Most of these things that you talk about on LinkedIn are not meant for LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a professional platform that is focused on careers”.
Jessica and Logan have never really lived together since they got married. Well, they did, but not for long. Logan was transferred to Botswana by his Scandinavian employer for an initial six months foreign placement. One thing led to another and his return to Norway never materialized six years later.
As a way out, they both decided to move to Canada so that they could be together finally. During the six years, Jessica had delivered two kids and almost raised them all alone.
After arrival in Canada, Jessica was lucky; she got hired by one of the midstream oil and gas companies for a senior role. Logan? Not even a retail store took an interest in him.
It’s been three years. Logan has gone through every newcomer training and career transition program you can think of.
He has lost time. Since he had never really lived long with Jessica, in reality, they never knew each other. With the arrival of kids while he was mostly away, Jessica’s world got more complicated — she had become distant emotionally and even coming back together with Logan has not panned out as they thought.
Things seem not to be working anymore, no matter how hard they tried and not even with the recent discovery that Logan had a baby with another lady while in Botswana.
They quarrel a lot. Every little thing that Logan does irritates her. The kids are also emotionally distant from Logan. Logan flies off the handle easily as well. He feels trapped. Lost time, no job, no wife and kids – literally. Multiple counts of professional counseling and police intervention in their domestic quarrel.
Jessica’s world has crashed. She is no longer concentrating at work and her performance has dropped. She has no friends nor does she have time for them.
The inevitable eventually happens – Jessica was let go at work.
And two months ago, Logan left home and has not returned.
This is why I tend to focus on these seeming intangibles, because the things that hold us together as a people are not our engineering or medical careers. They are our relationships and self-leadership. Everything else revolves around these and when they crash, our careers and mental health all crash and burn! Yet they are the things we don’t want to discuss publicly.
Join us in the community.
PS: Based on a true story published with permission under anonymity.
Written by Dapo Bankole.
Follow Dapo on LinkedIn