There. Got you!
What were you thinking? (smile)
Almost seven years ago, 2012 was the year I moved to Canada with my wife and kids. In my short stay here as a first generation Canadian, I can say I’ve seen a lot – the good, the bad and the ugly. I’ve had times when I was without a job with some feeling of despondency to go with it. I’ve had stormy situations in my business and marriage. I’ve had some moments of personal loss. And, I’ve had some ‘aha’ moments too, when I gave myself a pat on the back for some accomplishments.
In spite of those low moments that I have experienced, as have other fellow first-generation Canadians, I still regret not coming to Canada earlier. And over time, I developed some coping mechanisms to deal with my regret.
Regret is a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, missed opportunity, mistakes, etc.
Mistakes are part of life, everyone makes them, everyone regrets them. But some learn from them and some end up making them again. It’s up to you to decide if you’ll use your mistakes to your advantage
Do trial and feedback (not trial and error). Failure is not error but feedback. Pick up actionable insights from that last experience and turn it into a blueprint for the next project.
Here are some factors to consider when dealing with regret.
- Accept what you cannot change: Look to the future and make the most of what you have now. As much as you cannot control everything in life, the best you can do is to put your best foot forward each time something needs to be done or redressed.
- Be proactive: Think of ways to remedy the feeling of disappointment or regret. Do not ponder over them. Think of what opportunities are presenting themselves to you now.
- The best time to do it is now: If you need to apologize, move on, start a project or business, walk away from an abusive relationship…just do it. And do it at that moment. Do not keep anything that can be done now, for later. If someone pops to mind at any time, pick up your phone and make that call. You never can tell what that call may mean.
An old Chinese proverb says: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now!”.
Today is what you have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. So, make the most of today. Do that thing you’ve put on the shelf for so long.
On a final note, don’t aim to get it perfect the first time or at any time. Perfection might never come. But you can give your best. Do trial and feedback (not trial and error). Failure is not error but feedback. Pick up actionable insights from that last experience and turn it into a blueprint for the next project. Keep working on the plans, projects and its execution. Keep evolving at it. This evolution will not just bring the best out of you but the work that you do too.
If you are a new immigrant in Canada and have experiences to share, thoughts to discuss and advices to dispense, that this community can learn from, share it with us.
Listen to the full episode of the Immigrant Life podcast Episode 59.