A while ago, I had an interesting discussion with my dad and I remember asking him, “since I was born, have I ever been reported by anyone for stealing, fighting, telling lies or anything in particular?”
I paused and waited with bated breath.
Without thinking, he said, “Yes, I remember your High School authority once sent a special report home about you. I can never forget that!”
Sounding disappointed and surprised, I asked him, “So what happened?”
“Oh, the report said you were very honest, dependable and that the school took special notice and thought you should be commended.”
Oh, okay! I heaved a sigh of relief.
So, I re-stated my question. My interest was about negative reports and he said, “Oh, no!” Never!
Okay. Before someone here picks me up on that…
I KNOW I am not an angel. I once stole my dad’s money when I was in Junior School, but I returned it. No one knew and I still don’t know why I stole it or why I returned it the next day, but I remember the incident like daylight.
I stole my mum’s fried meat…multiple times. I didn’t return those.
I have messed up on a few things but when I do, I own up. I don’t wait till I am caught; I report myself.
I may hurt you, but it is NEVER intentional.
“People are often fighting battles you know nothing about and sometimes they fight battles they themselves are not aware of.”
That is me.
Why am I talking this way?
Despite my best intentions, I have been caught up in situations where my integrity has been questioned. And sometimes, no matter what I say, I am still doubted.
And when such happens, it hurts.
But I know I am not alone.
Some have shared some very painful experiences with me.
If you have ever been slandered, accused, and doubted, know that I am with you.
Stay true to your values.
Stay true to yourself.
It really doesn’t matter what ‘they’ think, stand strong.
One day, the truth will come out.
And even if the narrative never changes, forgive, and move on.
Move on with your clear conscience.
Never mind that sometimes, broken trust comes from zones that you least expect.
Like another post demonstrated. When your conscience is clear and you have given your best and said the truth, you may still be misunderstood and misrepresented.
In situations like that, people are often fighting battles you know nothing about and sometimes they fight battles they themselves are not aware of.
Think good of them, in spite of.
No matter how difficult it is. Because…
Still, you will rise.
How this affects us as immigrants?
There are times when you may be faced with preconceived notions.
Or when someone else – even an immigrant life you, filters everything about you with preconceived negative notions based on their own negative past experiences with others…
Or their cultures…
Stay true to yourself. Choose not to be like them – prejudging.
Nothing should make you lose sight of your values.
Your values define you.
This article was written by Dapo Bankole.
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